It has been a while since I have posted. Things have been interesting to say the least the past month or so. I have been learning that having a strong willed child requires a lot of love, a lot of patience and tons of letting go of expectations... for the child and for me.
Our youngest (my strong willed child) has been getting in trouble at school. Not in trouble as in she was out to cause it, just having trouble with things which then causes her to get into trouble. She is trying so hard and we have been learning together how to help her, and encourage her, and let her know she is still loved. One thing about strong willed children is that their spirit is so tender. There are days when she gets in trouble we spend a lot of time reassuring her that she is loved. Not that we make her feel unloved with dealing with her issues, mostly she is grounded from her friends. But she struggles with being accepted and she always has. Maybe that is part of what is behind some of her actions at school. She has been getting better over the month and we are very quick to let her know what a great job she is doing and acknowledge how hard she has worked to be good.
Part of this whole dealing with her getting in trouble are my own issues and expectations that I have set up that I was unaware were there. I have been learning to let go of these expectations... of what others thought of my parenting, and of what I felt a "perfect family" was. It has not been easy for me but I am learning that I have the perfect family for me. Each child has brought us something we did not have and taught us so much. I would not trade them for anything and even whatever my "perfect child" image was. Turning to God with my issues of letting go and how to help her with her issues has been huge for me. I am not one that turns to God first...even though I should...I tend not to. I was seeing that my frustration of my expectations and her actions were making things worse. God is helping me see her potential, and reminding me of her joy and zest for life. Reminding me to focus on the blessings which makes dealing with the issues much easier. I think that this is going to be a long road for me as we make it through the school years but God will be there through it all working with me and reminding me and being my strength to keep raising her for Him. I wish I could say I have it all figures out... but being an imperfect parent I am never going to.
