Patience, love and letting go of expectations...

It has been a while since I have posted. Things have been interesting to say the least the past month or so. I have been learning that having a strong willed child requires a lot of love, a lot of patience and tons of letting go of expectations... for the child and for me.

Our youngest (my strong willed child) has been getting in trouble at school. Not in trouble as in she was out to cause it, just having trouble with things which then causes her to get into trouble. She is trying so hard and we have been learning together how to help her, and encourage her, and let her know she is still loved. One thing about strong willed children is that their spirit is so tender. There are days when she gets in trouble we spend a lot of time reassuring her that she is loved. Not that we make her feel unloved with dealing with her issues, mostly she is grounded from her friends. But she struggles with being accepted and she always has. Maybe that is part of what is behind some of her actions at school. She has been getting better over the month and we are very quick to let her know what a great job she is doing and acknowledge how hard she has worked to be good.

Part of this whole dealing with her getting in trouble are my own issues and expectations that I have set up that I was unaware were there. I have been learning to let go of these expectations... of what others thought of my parenting, and of what I felt a "perfect family" was. It has not been easy for me but I am learning that I have the perfect family for me. Each child has brought us something we did not have and taught us so much. I would not trade them for anything and even whatever my "perfect child" image was. Turning to God with my issues of letting go and how to help her with her issues has been huge for me. I am not one that turns to God first...even though I should...I tend not to. I was seeing that my frustration of my expectations and her actions were making things worse. God is helping me see her potential, and reminding me of her joy and zest for life. Reminding me to focus on the blessings which makes dealing with the issues much easier. I think that this is going to be a long road for me as we make it through the school years but God will be there through it all working with me and reminding me and being my strength to keep raising her for Him. I wish I could say I have it all figures out... but being an imperfect parent I am never going to.

Update on Greg and Casey

Update
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
Hey everyone,

Greg and Casey are doing well. They have been super busy since returning to base last Friday. Family was there all weekend helping them get settled and everyone left yesterday. Greg and Casey were meeting with the Army yesterday about next steps and all he details regarding their care. They were supposed to meet with the Coroner today about funeral arrangements for Bree. So like I said they are very busy. I got to talk to Greg Sunday night and he sounded great. His voice is very raspy but said he was doing okay. His hands are hurting him and will take some time to heal. His lungs also are still in the process of healing as well.

Casey is doing very well. She found out today that a close friend who was like her second Mom passed away yesterday so she is very discouraged and I am sure questioning why all this happening right now. We need to pray for peace and understanding big time.

That is all I really know at this time and will update as I get any information.

thanks again for all your prayers!

Friday
Saturday, October 4th, 2008

Well it has been a whirlwind of two days for Greg and Casey. Getting released from the hospital today was a huge success. They were transported back to the base at Ft. Jackson where the army has a beautiful 2 bedroom fully furnished apartment. I heard it looks beautiful. They also stocked the fridge and pantry with food. Greg and Casey are doing well. Greg is in a lot of pain mainly from his hands. They of course are very tired from the last two days. The move, the emotions, the healing still taking place.

Over the next few days they will have some time to settle in, visit the clinic and get set up with nurses there, get thier prescriptions, etc. Right now they need to rest and it will be good when they can spend some quality time with each other as well.

As far as the injuries goes their lungs continue to look good and heal, their burns are healing nice as well. Greg’s hands are the greatest concerns right now and they will take good care of them.

It has been difficult as they begin processing Bree’s death, and all that it entails and we need to pray for peace and comfort that only God can give right now.

Thanks once again for your continued prayers!

Thursday night
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008

Well it just keeps getting better. They were told today that the Army will be taking good care of them however long they needed. They will have a furnished apartment and they made a list of the food they like and the fridge and cupboards will be stocked. They will also have gift cards provided from the the Warriors fun that will help buy them all new clothes. The general at Ft. Jackson made it very clear that they will be taken care of. Greg fought for this country three times in Iraq and that will not be taken lightly.

It is so cool that God is providing! They were put together in a room tonight and were doing great. They might be possibly be transported from the hospital tomorrow to the base in SC. They are resting well tonight.

The family seemed super excited today about the progress and how well they are doing. Everyone is in good spirits!

Thursday
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008

What an awesome day. The has been filled with tons of good news. Greg and Casey are both free from all the tubes, iv’s, etc and free from their beds. They actually got to sit up in a chair today and were asking for a hamburger and fries. Greg and Casey got to spend some quality time together, and spent most it just holding onto each other and crying. They were in the process of getting them both back in a room together.

They have talked about actually letting them go home soon so they can properly heal. The army has a apartment set up for them that is completely furnished and even comes with housekeeping, how about that. They both are dealing with the news of Bree and the only thing that seems to calm them is the fact that she is in heaven fulfulling her purpose there now.

We cannot thank everyone enough for all your prayers and support, and the road is just beginning. They will continue to need each one of us as they pick up the peices and move forward. I am so thankful to be apart of Greg and Casey’s life and I know that God has a plan for them.

On the funny side, Greg was in rare form apparently and giving the nurses a hard time and he was very happy that the tube finally came out of his butt.

Wednesday Night
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008

Well it has been very busy day. Greg and Casey both came off the ventilator and Casey is free from all tubes and wires. She is still being restrained to her bed because she is very adamate that she is getting out and getting to Greg. Hopefully, they will be together soon.

Greg is doing very good. They got to peel most of the pigskin off of his face, ears and neck today and his skin looks good and is healing nicely. He was much more alert tonight and was talking quite a bit. He is still very agitated about the tube in areas he doesn’t like. He told the nurse today, “I am a soldier in the US Army, and a drill Seargent, and you need to get this tube out of my ass.” It was great to hear and see Greg back to his fighting self LOL Kim got to help the nurses today alot with shaving, peeling off skin, and getting him to be more comfortable and keep him in the bed. He was trying to get out most of the day. He did share with Kim tonight that he went back into the house several times trying to find Bree. He said, “it was so hot, and I could feel my face burning, and my lungs were on fire.” He counted 6-8 times that he kept going in, and out catching his breath and trying to find her. Kim shared that Bree was needed up in Heaven right now to asssit God, and Greg said that he could deal with that, tears streamed down his face alot today.

The feeding tube, and the other tubes were still in, but plans are to take those out tomorrow. They were going to try to have him sit up on the edge of the bed tonight. He has been complaining most of the day about his back hurting.

All in all it was an awesome day, and Greg and Casey are both fighters and when you add that with prayer, you get a miracle. God has healed them in a big way and we pray that they will soon relaize that God is going to use them in a big way.

On a side note, we found out tonight a church in Kingsport where some family attend are going to dedicate a picture and pass out smoke alarms at a Harvest Festival they are having. That is way cool! When I find out more about that I will post it on the site.

Thanks for your continued prayers and we will update you tomorrow.

A smile that changed us!
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

I took this just a few months ago when Greg, Casey and Bree were in Florida. I think Bree must have ate like 10 freezy pops. I couldn’t resist that smile






Wednesday mid-day
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

Well, it’s been a great day!!! They took out the ventilator and Greg is doing well. He is breathing good, and they even were giving him ice chips. He is still pretty sedated and on pain medicine, so it out of it. They are going to get him cleaned up today, shaved, some more of the skin peeled off and then we will see. Wow, thank God for such a quick time and now he can begin the healing process. Having him off the ventilator is huge!!! They were also busy trying to get Casey off as well. She is in the room with an older lady, so they have been trying to get that settled down so they can get to Casey.

The plan is to get Greg and Casey in the same room. It will be important so that they can help each other deal with their loss.

Our prayers are for continued healing and also now Greg and Casey dealing with the death of Bree. They will begin asking questions and it appeared as if Greg was mouthing “Bree” this afternoon when everyone was in seeing him.

They both continue to be agitated, which shows they are fighting, so that is a good thing.

This is going to be a difficult time and through our prayers they will make it through.

On another note, I believe they were going back to the house today to see what else they could obtain, but the damage is pretty severe. They did find out that they had only minimal insurance to cover the contents, so it will be important that we can help support them and get them back on their feet.

Thanks for all that you are doing: your prayers, thoughts, emails and calls are so appreciated.

Wednesday Morning
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

Jeff, his brother, and also some help from the Army were able to go inside Greg and Casey’s house yesterday and recover some pictures, papers, etc. There is quite a bit of water damage so not sure what is going to be salvageable. They are waiting to meet with the insurance folks. We know that the Army will make sure they have somewhere to go of course, but they have experienced a great loss. Their vehicles are okay and will be stored on base. We will let you know more details as they become available.

We have set up an account and I would encourage you to let people know that this is how they can help. Greg and Casey will have to start over. They will need furniture, clothes, and all the things they need. Any gift given will be tax deductible, and be used in this endeavor.

Again thank you for your prayers, support and any gift you could give to help them.


Brionna’s Hope
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

We have set up an account to benefit Greg and Casey and also be an instrument to help other children of burn vicitms. All monies donated are tax-deductible and will go to Greg and Casey, and a benefit of their choice to help children of burn victims.

If you have any questions, please let us know and we will be happy to assist you.

Thanks for your prayers, support, and sacrifice as we all help Greg and Casey.

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

Well as many of you know we were all aware that there would be up and down’s. Today was kind of a down day since we thought they would be coming off the ventilator, but they decided to keep them both on. Casey has become more and more agitated and continues to get sedated to help her stay calm. She is doing very well though and it should be soon that she can come off.
Greg continues to be stable and coughing up lots of the junk in his lungs. Both of them had “junky sounding” lungs today. They both have lots of soot and black stuff that will be coming out for awhile. Greg had to be restrained today as well, as he became agitated and they want to prevent them from pulling out anything. They both continue to respond to our voices and open their eyes often. The skin on Greg’s face is looking great and they have been able to peel back and cutt some of the skin off, which is good. His skin underneath looks great and you can’t even tell it has been burned. His hands continue to be a concern, they are unsure as of yet the exact damage because they have been wrapped since they arrived.
Please continue to pray for their lungs and breathing. That really is the key!
On another note, Casey’s father and Uncle were able to go over to Columbia and get into the house to secure some of Greg and Casey’s personal belongings. I will update you when we find out more about that.

Greg and Casey

The Fox family has had a great loss... Please keep this family in your prayers. Keep both Tom and Tricia and Greg and Cassie it is going to be a rough road ahead for all of them.

09/26/08 Email from Tom...

About 2:00 this morning my nephew Greg's house caught on fire and
what we know right now is that Greg and his wife Casey have been
taken to the burn center in Augusta, GA. They have been burned badly
and we are not sure as of yet (6:30) what exact condition they are
in. They have told my sister that they are stable but their throats,
lungs, hands and faces have been burned badly.

Their 3 year old daughter Breanna did not make it. It appears that
their dog Brindle was trying to get Breanna out of the house and both
of them did not survive.

This is devastating of course to our family and could really use a
tremendous amount of prayer right now. Please pray Greg and Casey and
the doctors and nurses. Also pray or my sister Kim and her husband
Don as they leave this morning to Augusta. Greg and Casey do not know
yet that Breanna has not made it, so pray especially for the families
as they get there.

Thanks so much for your prayers.



09/27/08 8:00 AM from Tom

I arrived in Augusta around 2 AM. Very scary place!!!! I drove almost 100 miles and couldn't find a gas station that had gas. Finally found a police car that could direct me to only 1 gas station that had gas, so I bought 2 extra gas cans and filled them up...very eerie feeling.



Slept okay and we are getting ready to head up to the hospital for a 9:00 visitation time. Greg is still in critical condition this morning and the concern is his lungs and heart now. He is breathing at about 85% on ventilation, and they would like to see that much higher. His surgery went well and they were able to get new skin grafted on his face, neck, arms and hands. Casey, his wife is doing much better and they are keeping her paralyzed and sedated because she was becoming very agitated last night. She wrote a note asking about Breann and Greg.


They did tell us this morning it is expected to get worse before it gets better. They are concerned of course about any kind of infection that may be in there. Most likely Greg and Casey will be sedated and on a ventilator for several days. Continue to pray for the family and everyone involved.


Alright, more updates today as we see how things are going. Again, thanks for everyone's prayers and calls. You are all amazing and it is through prayer that will make the difference.

09/27/08 5:45 pm from Tom

Well, it has been a pretty rough day. We were able to see Greg and Casey for a few minutes around 9:30 this morning and then had a long talk with his doctor's. They are giving Greg a 50/50 chance of making it through. Apparently his throat and lungs are much worse than we thought. They have been burned pretty badly. They are working desperately to keep him breathing. They are giving him 100% oxygen and using just about all of the ventilator that they can to keep him breathing. It is a waiting game right now. They are very concerned with the fluid that has been building in his lungs and also his kidney's. They are close to failing and may have to put him on kidney dialysis. They also are talking about doing a trache procedure to bypass his mouth/throat because they are so badly burned and bleeding into his lungs.


We really need prayers right now that his lungs will be good enough tomorrow so that they can go in and get some of the soot from the fire out of his lungs. Also pray that his kidney's keep working. They have told us Greg could most likely be in this ventilated state for 3 weeks to 6 months. We won't know for several days.


On a good note Casey is doing very well and breathing about 40% on her own. She also has responded alot to our talking to her and also to our touch. We are hoping she will be coming off the ventilator in the next couple days. Continue to pray for her lungs as well.


Greg's has pig skin on his face, ears, neck, arms, and hands. I was not prepared for what I walked into this morning and pretty much lost it. It was so hard to see him laying there like this.


The army has been amazing and have sent several sergeants, chaplain and some other folks and have been very helpful in this entire process. For those who don't know Greg is a sergeant in the army and a decorated soldier who has fought for our country in Iraq over the last few years. Greg had several issues he had been dealing with in regards to injuries he had incurred in battle.


Alright, I will update later tonight. Continue to pray for us, tomorrow we will be traveling to Columbia to see Brianna and talk with the coroner there.


That will be very tough, so your thoughts and prayers are very much appreciated.


Love,


Tom


P.S. Here is a link to a story in their hometown. However, they were not released they were taken to the burn center here in Augusta..


http://www.wistv.com/global/video/flash/popupplayer.asp?ClipID1=2961936&h1=Child%20in%20Hopkins%20house%20fire%20dies%20from%20injuries%2C%20Jennifer%20Wilson%20reports&vt1=v&at1=News&d1=129533&LaunchPageAdTag=News&activePane=info&rnd=55983601

09/28/2008
Hey everyone,

Yesterday was a good day, we have been able to create a website
called http://www.gregandcasey.com

Thanks to my buddy Scott Bane for getting that up and running--you
are awesome dude!

We will try to post everything there so that you can get the updates,
any news, and be able to communicate back to the family.

Please pray for us today as we will be going over to see Brianna for
the first time today and talk with the coroner.

Thanks for all the support, calls and emails--it is so comforting to
know we are not alone in this.

Tom

Whirlwind...

Well it has been about a month now since school has started back up and I must say this has been the worst year for getting adjusted. I cannot get adjusted to the morning routine. One would not think that 15 minutes earlier would matter so much but it does. We cannot get our routine down so that we are having consistent devotion time before school. I am sad about this and am working on it but it is just so hard. My son does not seem to be adjusting well this year, and with so many uncertainties at his job my husband also has increased stress right now. It makes for some interesting times.

This week we had what was left of Ike come through with crazy 75 mph winds in OH of all places. It has caused much damage and chaos for those living here who are not used to such large scale events happening. There were so many stories where little or no damage happened, there were stories where houses and people were lost. It has been amazing to watch how people react through it all. But there is much to be learned from this wind storm that ripped through here.. being prepared (as my friend talked about in his blog http://www.live2give.info/), what we do when our daily lives are disrupted, who you can rely on when things are bad, and how things change from this point forward...

That gives me a lot to think about... How could I have been better prepared? What will change from this occurring this past week? Who do I need to thank for being there for us? I don't have some of those answers figured out just yet... And I want to somehow see how these principals can be applied to the others events in my life.

As both the issues and effects of Ike get resolved, and my family learns how to deal with the changes going on this past month I hope we all can learn something. As time goes forward I will be watching and blogging the changes so that maybe someone else can be helped knowing they are not alone in the storms that happen. Knowing that God is there through the rough times and the blessed times and that other people have gone through things too and how they dealt with it have helped me.

Changes

Well... Things never stay the same do they? As another year of school begins and we settle into some sort of routine again other areas of life change. We are getting prepared for the biggest adventure we have ever taken.... moving far far away :) We were reminded this week that we need to trust completely the plans of the Father and there is no way I can plan them better. But this is hard to learn for me, much as it is hard for kids to learn that parents usually do know best. But just like you allow the kids to see their plan not take the path they would so choose so that they can learn to trust your decision, I believe God has been doing that with us. Trying to see if we are willing to go when He says and how He says not like we have planned. Sometimes this is easier than other times.. this time for me is hard. However I am willing to do things His way.

Between trying to track how we are doing with the kids and encouraging others through our life and trails and joys I hope to track these changes and how God is controlling things and how I react (good and bad) so that maybe this will help someone else. I will be back later this week to update how the latest developments and my reaction to them have occured.

Insanity

Summer is crazy this year for some reason. Our schedule is way off, the kids are going to a million and one places this summer. In some ways it is good but I like my scheduled life :) It makes it so much easier to stay on track with things. It has been a good summer so far. I hope to get back into blogging here more regular after July. July is super busy :)

Trusting

This week I have been reminded that my children are in God's hands. I tend to forget that. Even though I gave them back to Him as a baby I tend to think of them as just mine. Which is why I wanted to go through the power of praying parent book. Because I need to have God in there. Well I came to the place where my dreams for my child met the reality of the situation. The reality is not what I wanted, not what I planned yet it is where we are right now. I was very very upset about it until God reminded me on the way to work the next day that He has had my son in His hands and that He has no intention of just letting my son go. He reminded me who was in control. That helped a whole lot. I am still sad that I cannot change the situation but I am released from the worry knowing that my son is in God's hands and no matter the outcome somehow God will be in it and get glory from it. What an awesome God we serve.